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The Best Stories from the Dwarf Fortress Community. Short and depressing story of Urist McUseless, the All Too Valiant clerk. Urist dutifully picked up a rusty copper hammer, almost the only weapon available in Twinklesorrow, and put on a dented pot on his head. The dwarves expected something like this since the founding of Twinklesorrow, and almost all went according to drill. Gathering area in great dining hall was soon swarming .